In welchem Familienmodell lebst du?
I live as a single father in an unfamiliar environment with no family connection. Because of the mother’s mental illness, living with her was no longer possible and ultimately our relationship failed. The last two years have been a real fight against windmills in the hope that their situation will improve, but this is hopeless.
In addition to the stresses of being a single parent, there is then the worry about the mother and all the help she needed from me.
Since we share custody and the mother has the unrealistic notion that our son should spend more time with her in the future, she is against moving closer to my family. This puts me in a bit of a trap where I get little support. Due to the mother’s illness, we are being looked after by the youth welfare office, but they can’t really help either.
What I appreciate about my situation are the beautiful moments with my son. And fortunately there are many of them.
When I experience everyday life with him, it is not only exhausting, but there are always moments that give you new strength.
Was haben Sie in diesem Familienmodell als schwierig erlebt?
What was difficult was that I simply didn’t know my partner long enough. We had already been together for a year until her pregnancy, experienced a lot, but this year was not enough. If you think you know a person and then psychological problems with him also then intensify due to pregnancy, then you see that this person is no longer the one you have come to know and love.
How could this difficulty be overcome?
Until now, unfortunately, it is not yet completely overcome. Whether it can really be overcome is not clear to me. But it is clear to me now that the future for me with my son must be one without the mother. All I know for myself today is that the next woman I meet, I will take a lot of time to get to know her properly. It is difficult to assess the psyche of a person. But the psyche is part of what makes a person. And what you first think you know can then quickly become worthless when circumstances change.
I love my son more than anything and wouldn’t give him up for the world. But if I had known a few years ago what was coming, it wouldn’t exist today.