These twice first weeks were limited and ran involuntarily towards the great upheaval. The upheaval brought an end to being in a cave and had been the topic for months, the move. The plan was for both Gianni and I to move, to two apartments next to each other, connected with a breakthrough so that…
Our premature baby thrived diligently and steadily. Even though it took some time from 1490g to discharge, eventually our big day came too. From the microcosm with hand disinfection and sorting into the pecking order hospital into the big wide world it should go without traffic jam in the evening and in the dark. The…
The first time in the premature infant ward was tough. Between feeding, diapering, washing, pumping milk sometimes only thirty minutes remained and there had to be showered, eaten, slept, walked, there came visitors and oh yes, apply for birth certificate, child support, parental leave and parental allowance and maternity leave also took place.Postpartum gymnastics and…
You would think that today motherhood would be something modern in the traditional, something that fits into 2014. There is parental leave and parental allowance, daycare vouchers, childminders and the tried and tested grandparents. And that’s great. I never once worried financially when I wanted to have children. We in Germany can consider ourselves damn…
Social networks worked, no matter what you called yourself. Cousins, uncles, grandparents, neighbors, friends, colleagues, bowling buddies and former fellow students, they came by, called and sent packages, at least a few lines. And the head, that stood somewhere and yet you were happy and everything else for the time being beside the point. Only…
Contractions are no fun. No matter how big the child is. Not even in rosy hindsight. The experience of birth, however, is one of the most impressive in my life. Two eyes, a forehead, the hairline, behind it black sticky wet hair, an open mouth, toothless and again and again this forehead, somewhat flat and…
They brought chocolate, did laundry, came by every day. In the maternity ward. After the water broke. Suddenly. Eight weeks early. And at the hometown to boot. The birthday of your own mother. It should be the last family visit before the birth preparation course. But it was still in the belly. With it all…
Outside the window, the first day had begun with continuous rain and a wind that still pulled through the autumn jacket. I started sneezing and felt the need for cinnamon stars and ginger tea. It was clear, it’s autumn.A strange feeling came over me, because autumn meant that Christmas was not too far away and…
They were very happy about their first grandchild. After initial skepticism, they bought mattresses and sheets and child seats. And I was very happy that they exist, these parents. continue to part 21: Autumn
Sometimes it’s hard to convey that this is exactly what was wanted and a free decision that I don’t regret and is one of the most wonderful things in my life that I’ve ever done, that I’m insanely happy and this child is not the stopgap for a failed partnership and that there is certainly…
A long topic, because often discussed, much thought about it, dreamed about it, in a good mood and drenched in sweat, faced difficulties, solved problems and created new ones and still one of us lived in Prenzlauer Berg and another in Wedding. But our plan was to connect two adjacent apartments, which in fact already…
Writing about pregnancy is idle, there is tons of material on the net, in books, from friends and mothers. Just so you know, I too had to throw up, for four months and yes it did stop suddenly and yes good months followed. Those that came after were more arduous, anticipating a bit of an…
If you held the test strip diagonally against the light, you could guess that a line appeared there – next to the control line. The next day it went without slanting and the following day even in the twilight. First with the ovulation test, then with the 10 pregnancy test and finally also with the…
Then another cycle and now it was unlikely. Our two lives made a new life impossible in those four weeks. Never mind, try anyway. And then another full moon and I thought jump, jump, jump and ovulation came but way too late and I was frustrated. And I think Gianni does too. We decided to…
Wait. Test. Negative. This cannot be. Test again and again and just wait a few more days. And then the certainty and the shock. How can that be? Fucking shit! Two weeks of smoking and drinking and dancing again and then again and in the meantime even less exciting, but more consuming. It did not…
Wait. Test. Negative. This cannot be. Test again and again and just wait a few more days. And then the certainty and the shock. How can that be? Fucking shit! Two weeks again smoking and drinking and dancing and then again and meanwhile less exciting. Shall we go for a coffee? Good. An hour later,…
In Berlin one day rest from each other, then another try, right after breakfast. Lie still, feet up. In Berlin, it was less exciting, but somehow also more comfortable. Then back to work. How was your trip? Super! Moscow is really worth seeing, the huge streets, the high houses, this icy cold. Quite an experience….
We walked on and on and I became more aware and conscious that this was indeed the right path. Step by step we became more sober. One last cigarette in front of the hotel, stepping from one leg to the other. At the reception our question about vodka. We were told in a friendly but…
The night was sleep-deprived and the morning tired, Red Square freezing cold and Lenin not to be visited today. In restaurants that looked like living rooms, a Berlin feel only different. Big city in the snow with smoking chimneys in front of azure sky, whose color was dull. Gianni lost his gloves. We shared, sometimes…
We sat on the bed, each on one. We had one more evening until then. We tried to pretend that we were ordinary tourists. Until I had to admit I hadn’t even read in my Lonely Planet. It was about something else and that was in the air and that was just madness and was…