I live as a solo mom in a co-parenting relationship. My daughter is nine years old and lives equally with her solo father and me in the alternating model. We live in the same town, about fifteen minutes apart.
What I appreciate about this model is that I am free to choose my romantic relationships and at the same time live in a family, accompany a little person into this world and be a mother.
What was difficult was the moment when I realized that I would not remain the only main caregiver for my daughter, that her father would also have an exclusive relationship with her and that he would demand it. Letting go in infancy and giving more and more responsibility to the father as well was difficult for me because I had the impression that it was not the right time.
I overcame this phase by moving closer together as a family and spending more time together due to more physical proximity. That made it easier for me to let go. In the process, I have learned that it has a positive effect on our daughter’s development when she has different caregivers who have a relevant influence on her. However, I would have liked to know in advance that letting go and confiding in the other parent can be a difficult phase and that this phase is common for our family model and does not mean a purely personal crisis or even the failure of co-parenting together. A joint look with the co-father into attachment theory and developmental psychology might have provided additional guidance to help determine the most appropriate time for everyone.